


Coconut Water

by ninjabiran (tomatoes)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, M/M, i'll add more character tags as they show up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 12:04:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomatoes/pseuds/ninjabiran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You mean to tell me," Dan said in disbelief, his voice wavering with anger, "That this entire time I've been confused about the weird things that you and your friends do that it never came to mind to just tell me that you were a vampire?"</p><p>Phil swallowed. "No?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coconut Water

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Dan is a stressed college student on a constant search for cheap rent and Phil is a vampire who blows all his money on expensive coconut water because he doesn't have the heart to hurt people for blood.
> 
> Or in other words, the AU that will drag me to hell, and I'm dragging all of you down with me.
> 
> EDIT 9/25/15: Of COURSE I don't check the tag before I click it and end up tagging this with "Louise Brealey" FUCK ME anyways it's fixed now sorry if any of you were wondering why she was in here goodbye. FUCK.

"I'm sorry, living in a dorm will cost _how_ much?!"

Daniel James Howell was having a very bad day.

He had woke up that morning in quite a good mood—it was his first day at college, who wouldn't be excited—and he checked out of the hotel in chipper spirits as he made his way to the building he would be living in. Which, in a terrible turn of events that was almost familiar to him by now, had caught fire overnight and was uninhabitable until it could be rebuilt. Though that was kind of a rough start to his day, he shrugged it off and went to his classes, where he absorbed as much as he could with the nagging fear of not having somewhere to live in the back of his brain. He was miles from home, and London was a big city, which was automatically dangerous in his book. During lunch, he stopped in with the headmaster to ask about living situations.

"Yes, I'm sorry, but living in a dorm does cost quite a lot."

"Don't you have some sort of discount? I'm here on a scholarship and financial aid, there has to be something—"

"Nothing. I'm sorry, Daniel, if you can't afford it you'll have to find somewhere else to live."

Dan sighed and stood up. "Thank you for your time." He walked out of the room, trying to look the least dejected he could.

He really needed a damn coffee. He made his way to the campus cafe, which was a cozy little establishment stocked with every hipstery food and drink you could think of. The "Free Wi-Fi" sign in the window was a perk as well, Dan thought as he opened the door, bell ringing cheerily.

"Hello!" The barista, a short, blonde woman with pink streaks in her hair and a glowing smile on her face waved to him as he walked in. He noticed her nametag read "Louise". Something in his conscience told him that he should remember that.

"Hi, I'll take a small black coffee, please."

"Name?"

"Dan."

She scribbled his name on a cup and whisked away. "Coming right up!"

Dan sat down at a table in the back. He looked around mildly at the decor, which featured a vibe similar to Starbucks, but that was every cafe, right? It was nice, though. He made a mental note to look at the mugs for sale on the back wall sometime.

"Dan?" Louise placed his cup on the pickup counter. As Dan stood up to get it, however, a certain someone caught his eye.

The first thing Dan noticed about him was that he was eerily pale. It was September, after all, shouldn't he have some sort of tan or even a sunburn? But no, the stranger was white as a sheet. His hair was in stark contrast to his skin tone, being a jet black that couldn't have been natural. And his eyes were almost too blue—they were ghostly pale, like his features.

"Oh, hey Phil!" Louise waved from the counter.

"Hi Louise!" He flashed a smile to her, and Dan really needed that coffee, apparently, because for a second he swore he saw razor-sharp canines half-hidden in the corners of his mouth.

That was just a hallucination, Dan told himself, taking his coffee and making his way back to the table. He should've had coffee at the hotel, he was too tired and stressed to be functioning right now. He sipped the drink slowly, eyes darting back and forth between Phil and Louise.

"Coconut water?" He could hardly make out Louise's voice over the chatter of the cafe, but he strained his ears and tried to eavesdrop. Something about these two was off.

"Yeah."

"Would you ever just consider drinking the regular stuff? This has to be expensive, right?" Louise said, grabbing a bottle from the display case and giving it to Phil, who passed her some money in return.

"I dunno, I'm kind of a wuss. Plus, this is much easier."

What did he mean, regular stuff? Dan's thoughts broke once Louise looked around cautiously, making him pull out his phone and pretend like he wasn't being a total creeper.

"Have I showed you my new trick yet?"

"What is it?" Phil inquired. Louise simply smiled and turned to her barista equipment. She pulled an old looking machine out from a cabinet, heaving it on to the counter with a thud. She put various ingredients into a funnel-looking device at the top, which with a sputtering noise poured a green liquid into a small cup underneath it. It released a minty smell into the cafe as she pulled it out from the machine and brought it back to Phil. She grabbed one of the small plants from the counter and poured it in.

"Watch this," she said cheerily, and then began to mumble words that Dan couldn't quite make out. The plant began to grow, slowly at first, but speeding up as Louise continued to speak. Dan watched in awe as it tripled in size, finally stopping and sprouting a small flower at the very top. "Isn't that so cool?"

"Wow, that was incredible! I need you to work some magic on some of my plants, they don't seem to be growing well."

"Maybe if you stopped naming them Susan they would like you more."

"Hey!" Phil said indignantly as Louise laughed. "Alright, whatever. Show me more of that later, yeah?"

Dan was feeling a bit sick at this point. He stood up with his coffee and headed for the door, waving politely to Louise.

"Come again!" She piped, and Phil smiled at him, and Dan felt like he was going to pass out then and there because _what the fuck were those fangs even?_

He left the cafe and started walking towards his should-be flat before remembering it had burned down. He sat down on a bench and groaned. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

His mind wandered back to the two people at the cafe. Phil and Louise—who were they? What with the teeth and the plant and that ancient-looking machine...

Dan shook his head roughly. There had to be a logical explanation for all this. They were simply magicians of some sort—yes, which was why Louise had called it a trick—and Phil must wear those teeth for the effect—yes, it all seemed certain, now. Magicians.

Dan had given up on fairy tales and magic things long ago, favoring a more realistic lifestyle. It had been serving him well until now, he lamented.

He pulled out his phone and looked for a cheap motel to spend the night in. After booking a stay, he walked around until he needed to be back to class. Once the day was over, he made the trip to the motel and started looking for flats. He would really rather live alone—it was much easier to study that way, and he wouldn't have to worry about all the hot water being used. Although, it would be cheaper rent-wise...

He scrolled through many different listings before finding one that fit his budget. He clicked on it and read the description: "Second roommate wanted. 2 bed, 1 bath, nice view." The rent was an okay price, and the inside of the place looked good. He clicked on "arrange viewing" and finished everything up, shutting his laptop and lying down on the creaky mattress.

It was really quite the contrast to the beginning of his day. Dan sighed and tried to get some sleep. He'd continue to worry about everything in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Whoooo boy! Another multi-chapter fanfiction. I actually have another one planned, but that one's giving me hell right now so I'm putting it off.
> 
> Much like all this homework I have to do.
> 
> Oh well.
> 
> (I DONT KNOW HOW COLLEGE OR RENTING OR ANYTHING WORKS SORRYYYYY)
> 
> i'm on tumblr at ninjabiran!


End file.
